This week was very hard. Full of difficulties. So I stayed in Musa but it is not how I expected. I am with my same companion and honestly, I love him, but he is crazy and sometimes a little annoying and super direct. And so I was hoping for a change from him… but the Lord knows why I am with him again. For something. So that was different than I thought but we returned to our work and especially with Grace so she could get baptized this week and she passed her interview and was so excited she thanked us saying she has never felt such happiness and it was so good… until Saturday night about 7:30 in the night we recieve 4 huge texts saying she isn’t going to be baptized and she doesn’t want to meet with us and maybe further on but for right now she is done. We ran to her house and she was there but her brothers lied to us and then we called her like 20 times and she didn’t answer so we sent her a text and she responded just saying sorry but it is done. So we called her again and her Mom answered and said she is embarrassed and doesn’t want to talk to us and needs some time to think. Something happened but we still don’t know what.
And Satan has been doing his work, man he got me way down on myself thinking of things I had done before my mission that I had repented of, feeling that I am not worthy and that I can’t help people when I am so weak and I got super down on myself… super down…and then he entered into our companionship. We tried visiting a family and only their 3 kids were home and I didn’t think it was a good idea to stay, but my comp was like ya it’s alright and I was like no… and so we called our leader and he thought the same as I and so we left. So we were struggling as companions and not getting along, and I began to doubt what we were doing, and just felt really low.
BUT, I learned! I freaking learned especially today! Why we have these hard times happen in our lives! Why we are here to live, and we are here to gain experience. If we don’t do anything wrong, how can we ever gain experience, how can we ever become like God. We have to experience this life, good and bad, so we will be able to eventually create life when we become Gods. If there was not opposition we would never learn! Ever! I also felt content with Grace because we literally did everyhting we could with her. It’s her baptism. It killed me when I read her text but I felt like everything would be alright. I know she will come around because she has felt the love in her life that her Savior has for each one of us.
I also learned that to really fear God and keep his commandments is more of a respect, a love and if we can really develop that, we will not obey by law, but because we love Him and we understand our real purpose here. I want to change that! I want to change why I work so hard. It is good to work hard, but I am willing to work with all my heart to start doing things with love, for everybody. But more especially for my Father in Heaven who loves me so much! I am not perfect, but I am a Saint! A Saint is someone who never quits even though he may fall, he gets back up with more love, with more power, with more heart and love!
I hope you all have a great week. Thank you for all that you have done for me. For your prayers!
Knowing the story of Alma the Younger I love his change of heart. It is what I want to recieve and achieve and I think it is what everyone wants to recieve. I love in verse 32 of chapter 27 of Mosiah!
Have a great week!